I wish I could put up a better opening for my grand debut here, but it seems some spandex-wearing moral compass community hero came in and wrecked my lab and all of my equipment. I swear, you build one mind-control ray and out come the pitchforks, torches, and tights. Why always tights?
How do you say "horrifying bulge" in Kryptonian?
Anyway, this means that I, Professor Obsidian, leading genius in the field of ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, is stuck building my internet presence in the most low-tech of ways. Video capabilities are down, my security system is so broken that I can’t post from the lab, even my cloner is down so I can’t spread this work around. All I can do is give you my words and whatever pictures I can get and hope that someday you learn to respect and fear me as I deserve.
“Why does a super-villain need to build themselves online?” I hear you asking. Yes, I can hear you.
This is the 21st century, people. EVERYONE needs to have their presence online or else they just get ignored. Thus, even those in positions of real chaos-spreading, like super-villains or politicians, need to be somewhat web-savvy in order to stay afloat in this new world.
As time goes on, I’ll be posting the results of my research and experiments here. You’ll be able to see the inner-workings of my incomprehensibly brilliant mind, and who knows, maybe you’ll even be able to help make me a better evil mastermind.
Oh, who am I kidding? I’m perfect already!
Pictured: Perfection
I’ll start posting my adventures soon. Until then, my lackeys.
END TRANSMISSION
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