Monday, December 24, 2012

A Christmas Poem

Twas the night before Christmas, and down in the lab
Olivr was decorating; making things fab.
The stockings were hung, and I mean with a noose,
Since Professor Obsidian had some screws loose.
The other bots were charging, plugged in with their cords,
Downloading visions of robotic hordes.
And with the Prof on the roof readying war vs elf,
Olivr was left down all by himself.
When up on the roof the Prof's voice had blared,
But this was New York and nobody cared.
Olivr ran to roof faster than ever before,
Got up the stairs and threw open the door.
With the moon and the city giving off such a glow,
He could see everything, but the Prof's a no-show.
Something went wrong, likely a misfire,
But then the little bot's gaze lifted still higher.
A red blur in the sky moving without a pause,
Olivr knew in his circuits it must be the Claus!
Moving still faster and in the other direction,
Another blur flew, who it was there's no question.
"Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen,
Comet and Cupid, dear Donner and Blitzen,
Don't worry about Magnus interfering our flight,
His nets have misfired, he's launched out of sight!"
Santa then laughed and Rudolph's nose grew quite bright,
As they were safe in the knowledge they'd now have no fight.
So they circled the rooftops, filling the sky with joy,
Dropping off gifts for each girl and boy.
And then in a blink, on the new lab's small roof,
They landed by Olivr, both boot and hoof.
There wasn't a chimney, but no one would frown,
The little bot led the way and they took the stairs down.
Down and down they went, to abandoned subways,
The little bot taking St. Nick through the maze.
Leading past monsters and components on racks,
They went to a spot Santa could stop and relax.
With the tree and the stockings, the ornaments and light,
Olivr's work made the room seem so cheerfully bright.
He offered the cookies and offered the milk,
Just like any good child and all of their ilk.
Yet something was different and this St. Nick knew,
This brain was all metal, the heart gears and glue.
Yet he was treated the same, with no question or strife,
For all the ill the Prof did, he still gave this bot life.
The jolly old fat man, well, he did just the same,
He knew better than to think the electronic mind was a game.
So he reached in his sack and got more than one gift,
Some upgrades, some toys, to give spirits a lift.
Most were for Olivr, but not the whole stock,
One still for Obsidian, probably a rock.
Then a wink of his eye, POOF, disappear,
Up back to the roof and off with the reindeer.
After "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
The front door crashed open and, oh, what a sight.
"Professor, what happened? You look like burnt toast!"
"It's a long story, I'm not telling, but I blame the ghost."
So another Christmas came, and away it had went,
And in Obsidian's plan, there was a huge dent.
He didn't get the sack, nor steal the red sleigh,
But for Olivr, that night led to a great day.
Happy Holidays everyone.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

OLIVR's Journey

Hello all! Olivr here!

While the Professor is busy setting up video capabilities at the new main facility, he's left me in charge of this month's update.

I asked him what I should post about, and he just said "Everyone loves you, you could read the phone book for an hour and the audience would be enthralled. Do they even make phone books anymore?" This distracted thought then caused him to hit his thumb with a hammer and yell a number of choice statements that I shan't repeat here.

But enough stalling. You all know what happened to the Professor when the satellite hit, but we haven't told my story of how I got to NYC.

As I was leaving the lab, the tunnels leading directly to other facilities began to cave in. So, using an escape route, I managed to get topside and run into some of our neighbors. Here you can even see the exit from the tunnels behind the tree.
They offered to give me a place to stay until I knew where I was going, so I offered to help out in their garden in return.
I had plenty to do.
Afterward, they were very nice and gave me lunch! Granted, I don't actually need to eat, but I can convert most organic material into fuel for later energy use.
OH! OH! Also, they have a cat! I never played with a cat before! At least, not a normal cat. Most of the cat-like creatures we had at the lab were either made of fire or oranges or something not fuzzy.
I continued to keep myself busy as I waited for word on where the Professor would turn up.
And they continued to feed me. Soda actually works great as a fuel for me, I should let the Professor know.
We even watched movies together. They even made sure we watched robot movies so I would feel welcome.
However, something felt wrong. For the first time since my creation, I had an excess of fuel stored. If I didn't do something about it, it could go radioactive and leak into my other systems.
How do you humans put up with this?
Soon enough, word appeared of strange debris landing in New York. While others began claiming the usual suspects: government project, UFOs, etc. I knew it had to be objects from the lab, and that the Professor would be nearby.
They gave me one last meal, to restore any fuel loss and to prepare me for the journey ahead.
Then they gave me a ride all the way up to the new lab! By this point, the Professor had activated a beacon I and the other surviving robots could track.
It was a nice vacation, but I'm glad to have gotten back to work. We're still moving things and fixing things, but things have gotten back to normal enough for the annual NYCC coverage, and soon we'll be back on track to share all our stories with you all!
I can't wait!
Special thanks to my real-life parents for taking care of Olivr while I moved, and for taking these pictures, giving me an easy update while things are still getting set up.