Monday, December 24, 2012

A Christmas Poem

Twas the night before Christmas, and down in the lab
Olivr was decorating; making things fab.
The stockings were hung, and I mean with a noose,
Since Professor Obsidian had some screws loose.
The other bots were charging, plugged in with their cords,
Downloading visions of robotic hordes.
And with the Prof on the roof readying war vs elf,
Olivr was left down all by himself.
When up on the roof the Prof's voice had blared,
But this was New York and nobody cared.
Olivr ran to roof faster than ever before,
Got up the stairs and threw open the door.
With the moon and the city giving off such a glow,
He could see everything, but the Prof's a no-show.
Something went wrong, likely a misfire,
But then the little bot's gaze lifted still higher.
A red blur in the sky moving without a pause,
Olivr knew in his circuits it must be the Claus!
Moving still faster and in the other direction,
Another blur flew, who it was there's no question.
"Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen,
Comet and Cupid, dear Donner and Blitzen,
Don't worry about Magnus interfering our flight,
His nets have misfired, he's launched out of sight!"
Santa then laughed and Rudolph's nose grew quite bright,
As they were safe in the knowledge they'd now have no fight.
So they circled the rooftops, filling the sky with joy,
Dropping off gifts for each girl and boy.
And then in a blink, on the new lab's small roof,
They landed by Olivr, both boot and hoof.
There wasn't a chimney, but no one would frown,
The little bot led the way and they took the stairs down.
Down and down they went, to abandoned subways,
The little bot taking St. Nick through the maze.
Leading past monsters and components on racks,
They went to a spot Santa could stop and relax.
With the tree and the stockings, the ornaments and light,
Olivr's work made the room seem so cheerfully bright.
He offered the cookies and offered the milk,
Just like any good child and all of their ilk.
Yet something was different and this St. Nick knew,
This brain was all metal, the heart gears and glue.
Yet he was treated the same, with no question or strife,
For all the ill the Prof did, he still gave this bot life.
The jolly old fat man, well, he did just the same,
He knew better than to think the electronic mind was a game.
So he reached in his sack and got more than one gift,
Some upgrades, some toys, to give spirits a lift.
Most were for Olivr, but not the whole stock,
One still for Obsidian, probably a rock.
Then a wink of his eye, POOF, disappear,
Up back to the roof and off with the reindeer.
After "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
The front door crashed open and, oh, what a sight.
"Professor, what happened? You look like burnt toast!"
"It's a long story, I'm not telling, but I blame the ghost."
So another Christmas came, and away it had went,
And in Obsidian's plan, there was a huge dent.
He didn't get the sack, nor steal the red sleigh,
But for Olivr, that night led to a great day.
Happy Holidays everyone.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

OLIVR's Journey

Hello all! Olivr here!

While the Professor is busy setting up video capabilities at the new main facility, he's left me in charge of this month's update.

I asked him what I should post about, and he just said "Everyone loves you, you could read the phone book for an hour and the audience would be enthralled. Do they even make phone books anymore?" This distracted thought then caused him to hit his thumb with a hammer and yell a number of choice statements that I shan't repeat here.

But enough stalling. You all know what happened to the Professor when the satellite hit, but we haven't told my story of how I got to NYC.

As I was leaving the lab, the tunnels leading directly to other facilities began to cave in. So, using an escape route, I managed to get topside and run into some of our neighbors. Here you can even see the exit from the tunnels behind the tree.
They offered to give me a place to stay until I knew where I was going, so I offered to help out in their garden in return.
I had plenty to do.
Afterward, they were very nice and gave me lunch! Granted, I don't actually need to eat, but I can convert most organic material into fuel for later energy use.
OH! OH! Also, they have a cat! I never played with a cat before! At least, not a normal cat. Most of the cat-like creatures we had at the lab were either made of fire or oranges or something not fuzzy.
I continued to keep myself busy as I waited for word on where the Professor would turn up.
And they continued to feed me. Soda actually works great as a fuel for me, I should let the Professor know.
We even watched movies together. They even made sure we watched robot movies so I would feel welcome.
However, something felt wrong. For the first time since my creation, I had an excess of fuel stored. If I didn't do something about it, it could go radioactive and leak into my other systems.
How do you humans put up with this?
Soon enough, word appeared of strange debris landing in New York. While others began claiming the usual suspects: government project, UFOs, etc. I knew it had to be objects from the lab, and that the Professor would be nearby.
They gave me one last meal, to restore any fuel loss and to prepare me for the journey ahead.
Then they gave me a ride all the way up to the new lab! By this point, the Professor had activated a beacon I and the other surviving robots could track.
It was a nice vacation, but I'm glad to have gotten back to work. We're still moving things and fixing things, but things have gotten back to normal enough for the annual NYCC coverage, and soon we'll be back on track to share all our stories with you all!
I can't wait!
Special thanks to my real-life parents for taking care of Olivr while I moved, and for taking these pictures, giving me an easy update while things are still getting set up.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

NYCC 2012

It's that time of year again!

Yes, once again I headed over to the Javits Center in NYC to go see the world of heroes and villains on display in comics, movies, internet, and so on.

As always, pictures are below (you can click any picture to see an embiggened version), with video at the bottom. Happy scrolling!

Right from the start, cosplayers are out in force. Note the Bane, get used to seeing him around.
A whole bunch of custom paint jobs. Who wouldn't want a car with Alyson Hannigan on the door?
Kris Kail of Dudegurlz, and Fred "Trunks" Wood of Sure to be Banned pose at the Halolz booth. This booth was constantly mobbed with fans and customers, you have no idea.
I scream, you scream...
Technodrome! What I would give to have a base like that.
Plungers mixed with weaponry makes me think maybe Mario's going hardcore?
Like every year, live art was being made. If you wanted to you could stand around and watch paint dry for real.
Giant flying squirrel! I like the goggles.
The Baconery booth. Mixing sweet snacks with bacon, and they are good! Seriously, try them out.
The Dark Mass booth had a zombie Santa Claus. Christmas may be spreading, but Halloween at least fights back, unlike that wimp Thanksgiving.
Even the NCIS showed up. I didn't kill anyone this time, I swear!
Long Valley Auto Body and Restoration had a whole bunch of vehicles on display. I, of course, tried to take one of Batman's old rides.
But then I saw the motorcycle. Was just about to hop on when a batarang hit me in the face.

Nothing stops me from time-travelling. Not even Matt Bell, professional Marty McFly. Sidenote: I am now responsible for the evolution of the hagfish. I apologize.

Zoinks! Just sitting in the car forced me to remove my goggles and reveal myself to be Old Man Withers.

Take a picture of a Haruko taking a picture of a steampunk taking a picture of a...

Mrrmmph MRRFHH!

You may not know this, but I'm actually a big fan of Waluigi. He exists for almost no reason and I respect that.

Some DC figures, including that Batmobile I almost got away with.

Rorschach pick up that sign. Rorschach what are you doing. That is litter, Rorschach.

Olivr calls this display 'busty.' I'm going to remove all his pun circuits tomorrow.

Oh Harley, you don't stand a chance. Never fight Bats when he's armored.

Rita Repulsa! She let me play with her staff. I made a giant nerd monster.

Captain America pretty much has a harem now.

I legit asked this guy how long he had to play to get all those hats.

This Judge Doom was popular. Everyone at the convention at some point said "Did you see that Judge Doom?" Man couldn't walk five paces without stopping for pictures.
With all the time travel, it shouldn't be too surprising to find the Civil War suddenly appear in a hallway.
Dancing Gumby!

Lincoln and the undead. Seriously, the 1860s have been embraced by nerd culture.

I'm a sucker for crossovers. Speaking of which, where's my Sony game so I can be in this fight?

Next person who leaves Legos on the floor for me to step on gets called a 'Fool of a Took.'

Videogame weapons!
Even more videogame weapons! Seriously, how do the Warhammer Space Marines even pick these things up?

I found a riddler trophy. Time for batarang upgrade.
Trekkies, Dante, and one very shiny Trooper.

Even more weapons! Juxtapositioned with a little fairy on the other side of the glass.

Mega Master Blok Chief.

In case you don't believe how big these things are, here's me for scale.
Giant Mega Blok Skylander tree...guy...thing!

If that signal works, I want one just to mess with Batman.

Gundams always show up. Someday I'll bring one of my power suits to this.

Anime chair.

Monsters with metal brains? WHO HAS BEEN SPYING ON MY LAB?!

Raven, just before using her powers to kick the crap out of me.

Out of all the characters from Death Note to dress as, this guy chose the book. I love this guy.

Don't. Even. Blink.

Look. Off in the distance. It's a group dressed as the entire cast of Firefly. Watch their instinctual herding habits. Shiny.

Costume Contest! Funfact: All con long, people complimented my costume. They don't know I dress like this all the time.
This next group of pictures is of a huge display set up by the guys at the Lego Artist Collectives in New York and Connecticut. It was seriously amazing and you should check these guys out. I'm not even going to comment on them. See if you can catch all the tons and tons of references on your own.


Incredible, right?

The winner of Friday night's costume contest. I don't even know what the hell.

At the Kaiju Big Battel panel, Los Plantanos held the bar for a limbo contest. Deadpool has moves.

It's D.W. Cycloptopuss III! Coming right at me! Watch out for the tentacles!

Not the best picture of Steam Powered Tentacle Boulder, but he was there.

Of course, the panel was hosted by none other than Louden Noxious, who was more than willing to talk and get pictures with the crowd afterward. I can only hope to make a monster worthy of the Battel.

Final Fantasy is never final.


Those missiles make this figure absurdly huge lengthwise. It's kind of beautiful.

A bunch of Megaman figures. I need to build an arm-blaster someday.

This many Kamen Riders would surely put villains like me out of business for good. Lucky for me there aren't this many running around.

If you want any of these figures, you'll have to go to Kamashii Nations, where they have guys like this tinkering with C-3PO's like that.


Somehow I don't think that Zord is to scale.

RIP Jerry Nelson. I'm not even going to make a joke, The Count was always one of my favorites.

Cheerleader Tachikoma deserves all the jokes thrown at it, though.

These guys used teamwork to solve all the puzzles of NYCC and gain the triforce. Or at least some cool swag.

Speaking of swag. This is the haul that came back to the lab with me. The creators of Sean and Such gave me a cool signed print, Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegener signed a copy of Atomic Robo Vol.1, and a bunch of other things, including...

This maple bacon lollipop from the Baconery booth.

Those specks are real bacon. This lollipop is actually pretty good. My world has been turned upside-down.

This 'Gentleman's Single-Use Un-Lubricated Monocle' I got from Zach Weinersmith's booth. The text at the bottom reads: 'For External Use Only Unless You Are Particularly Adventurous'
'Ready When You Are'
And finally, this Starfox Coffee mug I got from Fred "Trunks" Wood, which was immediately used for Gin and Coke. I'm sure he's proud. Thanks Fred!
And now, the moment you've been frantically scrolling for, the longest video on this site to date! No multiple links to sort through, no million and one embedded youtube videos. No. Just one massive, thirty-five minute long recap of my time at the convention.
Now don't worry, if you don't have time to watch the whole thing, there are links at the beginning leading directly to all the interviews. Just look under the video to find a handy guide to all the links, complete with clickable links to the subjects talked about in the interviews.
Say goodbye to the next half hour.

1: The Baconery booth
2: 8-Bit Goldfish Productions
3: Makerbot 3D Printers
4: Brian Clevinger talks about Atomic Robo
5: Ink-Fusion
6: The Oatmeal. The Tesla Science Center nonprofit organization's site is here, and you can donate here. FOR SCIENCE.
7: Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. And all the links I put over Zach's face are: his site's store of books; his book on Barnes and Noble, Amazon, Breadpig, and IndieBound; his Twitter; his Youtube; the podcast done by he and his wife; and Snowflakes, another comic he works on. Never tempt me to overlink something, I follow through.
8: Romantically Apocalyptic
9: KC Green
10: I talk about the most popular costume of the year.
11: Justice Productions
12: The Doctor
13: Fred Wood talks about Halolz, his game Love+, namedrops Brentalfloss and Katie Tiedrich, and sold me a mug.
14: Nightwing
15: Tony Stark

Go buy everyone's stuff, right now.

A huge thank you to everyone involved. The volunteers for helping me out, the exhibitors for putting on awesome shows at their booths and panels, and the fans who dressed up and made the crowds a sight to see. Thank you to everyone who was willing to talk to me, and my apologies to all the people I wasn't able to come back and speak with on camera due to time restraints.

Finally a big "Where were you?!" to Agent Wraith, who I still owe $1 to and who I can never seem to track well. My fault entirely, I'm sure.

Until next year!